cocoa j

if you don’t wanna know, don’t ask!


cocoa j

when you forget your falafel* it’s the worst




having something cool to bring for lunch is the best feeling in the world!

realizing you left that cool food at home is one of the worst!

it rates right up there with: stepping in something wet when wearing socks.


*not a euphemism

cocoa j

cocoa is birthdayed out, yall

sunday was my birthday

& we celebrated the whole dang weekend.

now i think i’m gonna take a nap

until next year.


cocoa j, graham

i am bad at eating shrimp

i have been a vegetarian for a long long time.

but recently i started eating fish occasionally like sushi and stuff.

i’m still new to the world of sea food,

so when my brother convinced me to order the fried shrimp, i did a bad job

one year ago today: cocoa exercise: chasing the ice cream truck

cocoa j

cocoa SEO: funny google searches part two

a few weeks ago i shared some really funny google search terms
that people had used to find cocoa likes this!
now i bring you…


these are actual search terms that lead visitors here.

lady parts
panties on head
cocoa ass
– NOT appropriate
cocoas boobies
– doubly NOT appropriate (because there are 2, get it?)
nipple cat
fap comics
fap material
excellent fap material – why settle for regular if you can have EXCELLENT
boners means
what is a boner
mans big boner
a mans boner
reality tv boners – there is no such thing, reality tv is the opposite of boners
man’s privates
soft d*ck
the adult
i wanna lick your toes 
dont fap for a day
– that is asking a lot of a person!
wanna fap you

so yeah i apologize to anyone who came across this site
looking for something smexy
only to find cute stick figures of a girl who loves candy and screaming.

true story: one time when i was like 9, my big brother was having some of his friends over. we were watching that movie Jack with Robin Williams and the kids in the movie were saying they wish they got a boner for christmas. and i asked “what is a boner” and no one said anything, so i asked my mom in front of all these poor pubescent boys. she said “do you really want to know?” and i was like “duh!” but when she whispered it in my ear, i screamed “EWWWWW” and they all looked very ashamed. that is how i learned what a boner is. also, why none of em ever wanted to hang out with me again.

(kinda) one year ago today: DOG NEWS!

cocoa j, j

j subscribes to a different line of logic

j lives by his own rules.

if by “evaporate” you mean

“a little lady will come and clean it up while you’re not looking”

then the answer is YES

(kinda) one year ago today: cocoa’s cocoa-shoes are in bad shape