cocoa j, graham

today is my big brother’s birthday!!

i have a big brother. his name is Graham!

he’s a pretty coo dude.

as you can see i am not getting drinkly.

the best present you can give your big brother

is not embarrassing him in front of all his friends on his birthday.



(i’ll try to be good)

one year ago today: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO BRO

two years ago today: today is cocoa’s big brother’s birthday

three years ago today: graham dislikes ham, loves to party

b for bel, cocoa j

peep my guest post at b for bel

member my friend bel from b for bel?

i did a guest post for her & it’s up!

you can find it HERE <– click click click

a little teaser, just for fun:

(kinda) one year ago today:  we basicallyyy won the lottery is the thing

cocoa j

i got hacked, but it was by a kinda funny hacker

guys! recently my twitters got hacked

i received an email from a real nice man who informed me

that i was sending some weirdy spam messages.

i never even sent a DM in my life so i knew i got hacked.

i peeped my outgoing messages and there were tons!

to my own followers, people i follow, and some complete strangers.

but the hacker messages were kinda funny!!

one of them simply said “I’m gonna stab you”

which actually sounds like me…

anyway, here are some of my favorite hacker messages!

okay that last one is clearly not me. i would never eat fat free yogurt!

i like to believe this hacker was trying out their material

and i really think they should take their act on the road!

but seriously no more hacking. that’s just plain rude.

oh and since we’re on the subject, if you don’t already follow me on twitter


who knows maybe you’ll get a kooky DM from me someday!

one year ago today: put on some tasty jams and shake ya thang

cocoa j

if you can’t decide, just get both

there is not a single orange julius slash dairy queen in los angeles!

you gotta get outta the city to find one

and if you live near one, i bet you are thinking who gives a dang?

but you don’t know what you got till it’s gone

something like that anyway.

so yesterday i was way far outside LA and i happened upon…


after i stopped screaming, reality set it.

i had a decision to make.

should i get an original orange julius

or a dairy queen chocolate hand dipped cone?

this is serious business.

i haven’t been to a OJ/DQ in years!

and i dunno when i’ll ever be at one again!!

so when it was my turn to order

i did what any logical person would do:

i got both


one year ago today: cocoa: destroyer of piñatas

two years ago today: cocoa made this dino cake for j’s birthday!

cocoa j, graham

i am bad at eating shrimp

i have been a vegetarian for a long long time.

but recently i started eating fish occasionally like sushi and stuff.

i’m still new to the world of sea food,

so when my brother convinced me to order the fried shrimp, i did a bad job

one year ago today: cocoa exercise: chasing the ice cream truck

cocoa j

cocoa SEO: funny google searches part two

a few weeks ago i shared some really funny google search terms
that people had used to find cocoa likes this!
now i bring you…


these are actual search terms that lead visitors here.

lady parts
panties on head
cocoa ass
– NOT appropriate
cocoas boobies
– doubly NOT appropriate (because there are 2, get it?)
nipple cat
fap comics
fap material
excellent fap material – why settle for regular if you can have EXCELLENT
boners means
what is a boner
mans big boner
a mans boner
reality tv boners – there is no such thing, reality tv is the opposite of boners
man’s privates
soft d*ck
the adult
i wanna lick your toes 
dont fap for a day
– that is asking a lot of a person!
wanna fap you

so yeah i apologize to anyone who came across this site
looking for something smexy
only to find cute stick figures of a girl who loves candy and screaming.

true story: one time when i was like 9, my big brother was having some of his friends over. we were watching that movie Jack with Robin Williams and the kids in the movie were saying they wish they got a boner for christmas. and i asked “what is a boner” and no one said anything, so i asked my mom in front of all these poor pubescent boys. she said “do you really want to know?” and i was like “duh!” but when she whispered it in my ear, i screamed “EWWWWW” and they all looked very ashamed. that is how i learned what a boner is. also, why none of em ever wanted to hang out with me again.

(kinda) one year ago today: DOG NEWS!