cocoa j, e, morgan alexander

to my bffs2g on her wedding day

today my best friend forever since 2nd grade is getting married

what you can’t see is me, just out of shot.

i am real bad at weddings. i always cry. HARD.

alright — i’ll show you, but it ain’t pretty.

see? embarrassing.

congratulations morgan & elizabeth!!

i love you both & i’ll try to be on my best behavior today.

well, until the reception… that’s when i’m gonna go balls out.



cocoa j

way to kill no. 88: electrocution

the catch is to convince them to take a relaaaaaxing bath.

then toss a toaster in there and  zzzzZZZT!!

(kinda) one year ago today: j gives the best piggy back rides

cocoa j

i am well known in my apartment building

the other day when i was out, i ran into a lady who apparently lives in my building.

wow, way to put me on the spot, but…
yes, the answer is yes.

one year ago today: tyson is special brand of person

cocoa j

way to kill no 21: the choke out

be sure to choke em till their eyes roll back in their head.

otherwise they will regain consciousness & things get awkward.

one year ago today: uh-oh: j got cocoa a twitter account

cocoa j

now i am under neighborhood watch

sometimes when j and i go for a walk i run away and hide somewhere.

like around a corner, behind a mailbox, up in a tree, under a truck.

cept this last time i was hiding in my neighbor’s bushes.

turns out he was sitting on his front deck

& was real weirded out about me sneaking around in his yard.

i was all

“can we have this conversation later? you’re really blowin up my spot”

one  year ago today: chad is a fellow snail lover

cocoa j

i only go to parties for the food

i thought someone said there was gonna be pizza which is the only raisin i came in the first place

one year ago today: cocoa doesn’t eff around about string cheese