cocoa likes this

I never felt so betrayed in my life.

When I first drew this, I captioned it “where I’m the most ticklish”

As I am now over 30, I call it “where does it hurt”

sometimes you just have to dance it out.

this is from the time that my cab driver told me I was worth my weight in cocaine! I felt validated

my baby sister drew this picture of me when she was little!

my friend Rob made this. Dog News. you heard it here first, folks!

this was at bath & body works. I haven’t been back.

we all have that friend!

Einstein was my dog. He was the worst driver of all time.

Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever

I went through a big michelada phase for a little bit.

this is from 2013 and I don’t understand it.

a promo I drew for the band I have with my brother Graham.

at the time this picture was drawn, I had bangs. I have since grown them out. It was a journey to be sure!

HMU if you need someone to talk you out of bangs.

my friend Dylan is from Florida, so he can say that.

he’s not wrong.

thoughts and prayers

there is no explanation for this

seriously, I am not even lying, someone actually requested this illustration verbatim word for word. I promise you.

“I LURVE ME SOME VERKA”

oh to be young again!

this is from the time I was in space

(loosely) based on a true story.

This is from 2009. I guess I was mad at TV.

But not enough to like actually learn it, of course!

As if there would even be any context that would make sense.

I’ve never been on a motorcycle but I imagine it would be like this

In 2011 I made this image of me lying in a pool of sprinkles.

Lo and be MF hold, 7 years later, I found myself in a pool full of sprinkles at the Museum of Ice Cream.

Shoot for the stars!

too many casseroles to live. we’ve all been there!

it was an honest mistake but now I know how you really feel!

also, yes, this is actually how Carlos dresses.

Brenton has a high pain threshold for puns.

to be fair, does a catcall ever go “right”?

P.S. Therapy is good for you. I highly recommend it.

I can’t apologize for who I am! [attempts to cheers you with a French Fry]

lock me up and throw away the key

I know all the neighborhood dogs AND I know their parents too. You can’t get anything past me.

You ever try smokin’ a pizza? Me neither.

what am I, a mind reader? 🌭

if anyone’s wondering: it was a terrier mix

“alike” NOT “identical”

what if he was a corn dog/hamburger hybrid? someone should make that

I went to brunch at the Scientology Celebrity Center in Hollywood and all I got was the best time.

They served a varied all you can eat buffet. AND there were bounce houses, pony rides, snow cones, and a photo booth. They must have known I was coming.

P.S. No one tried to convert me to anything. Their loss!

Einstein got surgery to fix his heart so I made this gif.

April 2013

it literally makes no sense.

Don’t forget the ice and a copper mug!

I created this Cheeseball enamel pin in early 2017.

Manufactured by Awesome Merch.

I have like maybe 10 or so left. If you want one, hit me up and I will send to you!

I warned the MF but he did not listen. RIP Terry!

Joe Biden loves ice cream

Ice cream loves Joe Biden

I have no political agenda, this is strictly about ice cream.

ONE DAY!

ALL ABOARD!

October 2013

ALL DAY I DREAM ABOUT STATHAM*

*JASON

it me

in any wedding photo ever, just assume I’m right out of frame, sobbing my hopelessly romantic heart out.

I don’t do this anymore.

May 2012

I unfortunately am the latter

let’s just say I’m not cut out for this particular job

if it makes you feel any better, candy makes me fat now, too

November 2012.

I knew a dog. Her name was Chloe.

COMING RIGHT UP!

I made this when my dog Einstein died in March 2017.

He was the best dog ever.

this is exactly what I look like

I bet you weren’t expecting that. (Honestly I’m pretty shocked myself)

a girl can dream!

November 2012.

that’s all I have to say about that!

this is from the time my friends got married.

it also marks the day that my favorite word “squiggle” was outlawed. I have not used the world squiggle since.