Posts Tagged hide and seek

cocoa SEO: funny google searches part two

a few weeks ago i shared some really funny google search terms
that people had used to find cocoa likes this!
now i bring you…

THE PERVERT EDITION!

these are actual search terms that lead visitors here.

lady parts
panties on head
teeties
cocoa ass
- NOT appropriate
cocoas boobies
- doubly NOT appropriate (because there are 2, get it?)
nipple cat
fap comics
fap material
excellent fap material - why just settle for regular if you can have EXCELLENT
boner
boners means
what is a boner
mans big boner
a mans boner
reality tv boners – there is no such thing, reality tv is the opposite of boners
man’s privates
soft d*ck
preenis
the adult toy.com
i wanna lick your toes 
dont fap for a day
- that is asking a lot of a person!
wanna fap you

so yeah i apologize to anyone who came across this site
looking for something smexy
only to find cute stick figures of a girl who loves candy and screaming.

true story: one time when i was like 9, my big brother was having some of his friends over. we were watching that movie Jack with Robin Williams and the kids in the movie were saying they wish they got a boner for christmas. and i asked “what is a boner” and no one said anything, so i asked my mom in front of all these poor pubescent boys. she said “do you really want to know?” and i was like “duh!” but when she whispered it in my ear, i screamed “EWWWWW” and they all looked very ashamed. that is how i learned what a boner is. also, why none of em ever wanted to hang out with me again.

(kinda) one year ago today: DOG NEWS!

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cocoa SEO: funny google searches

there are many people who google a term or phrase

that’s completely unrelated to cocoa likes this

& while it’s pretty obvious they were not intending to find the site

they somehow end up here.

i have access to the search terms that people have used to find cocoa.

i wanted to share some funny, extremely irrelevant ones:

doodie.com
picture make me murder
spaghetti justin bieber
no birthdays at work – well that’s just plain RUDE
great ideas for dumb people — i’m only a little offended
ass bicycle — i would like to see that, actually
people don’t kill people, people with mustaches kill people
yelling is caring — zackly. i scream at you because i love you.
corrupt government
mad face with thumbs up on the phone
i’m a boss and your not
born to kill
rude cupcakes — rude or not, i never met a cupcake i didn’t like.
compare belly buttons innie outie
the knife oj simpson used — you…are definitely in the wrong place
do i look like i give a shit
no one loves my birthday — i love your birthday!
justin bieber signature move — what is with all the justy beebee stuff?
boop beep boop go get em champ — i don’t know wtf but i like it!
swearing nanny — most likely came from any number of my former employers
animals which dont have bones — use wikipedia
truck stop urinal
where to smoke and drink in tulsa
its hard being cheesy — so, so hard
true facts about skittles — true facts about skittles: f*** tropical skittles!
really scary sleep — maybe try with the lights on?
peeing road
bear yamaka
pew pew boy
air plain yamakas – clearly i need to brush up on my yamaka knowledge

yeah, i don’t know what the hell is going on around here either.

stay tuned for the next round of funny google searches: the pervert edition!

this was a project inspired by cooking for @$$holes. see his funny google searches here and here.

one year ago today: cocoa sings in the shower

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j tries to trick me to not-go on a trip

TYPICAL


one year ago today: the only time you’ll ever hear cocoa admit:

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now i am under neighborhood watch

sometimes when j and i go for a walk i run away and hide somewhere.

like around a corner, behind a mailbox, up in a tree, under a truck.

cept this last time i was hiding in my neighbor’s bushes.

turns out he was sitting on his front deck

& was real weirded out about me sneaking around in his yard.

i was all

“can we have this conversation later? you’re really blowin up my spot”

one  year ago today: chad is a fellow snail lover

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